January - April 2009

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  Our old mate Pete Dicks of BeatlesandBeyond often features us on his radio show on Forest FM A long-time regular of Beatle Week, he has special recording equipment which makes us sound great live. And in tune.
 He recently joined us at The Jacaranda for the Fab4Fundraisers day (see next news page), and joined in with the impromptu rendition of  “I’ll see you in my Dreams” with Kev on ukulele, and always has a good word for us, as well as a plug on his radio show.
 On Sunday 4th January he played our version of “I Should Have Known Better” at The Adelphi Hotel, and kindly allowed us to reproduce the clip on this site, recorded on our up-to-date crystal set. On the same bill were The Mal Evans Memorial Band, and Johnny Silver. Auspicious company indeed... Click here to go to the clip

   2008 was a tough year for many businesses - who would have thought a year ago that there would no longer be a Woolworths on the British high street? - and most of the venues we play at are no exception. While we have found a couple of pubs closed down, or no longer putting on live music, we are lucky in finding that the number of venues wanting to book us is increasing, which should help us smooth out any ups and downs in the entertainment field for a while.
   However, there is a trend for some venues who usually book exclusively through agents - normally clubs - to try to reduce their costs by booking a band direct, cutting out the middle man and, in theory, getting a band cheaper, because there is no agent’s fee involved. We decided early on to be completely fair in these matters, which means that, while we are happy to book a venue direct, if we originally got the work through an agent, we will still pay him a fee.

  Squeaky clean? Stupidly honest? Perhaps both, but it does mean we have every right to be annoyed when venues treat us less than fairly, such as (very) recently, when we rang on the day to confirm the evening’s gig, only to be told that it was being cancelled, because one of the proprietors was in hospital, and the other one “couldn’t be bothered” to put a band on. There was no chance of us getting work at such short notice, which left us a pay day short. Thanks a lot, we won’t name and shame, but you know who you are. Tossers.
  There was also the venue who decided to book another band on the same night, cancelled us at two days notice, then told all our friends who turned up asking where we were, that we had split up! Needless to say, we won’t be back to the bloody New Inn at Marsden. Oops...
 And of course, the working men’s club in York who booked us direct, as they had done a few times, then, when we sent posters a month in advance, denied all knowledge of it and cancelled. We had proof of our dealings but, when we threatened court action, suddenly four other clubs in York cancelled their bookings with us. Strange, how rogues all stick together. Ah well, they ended up doing us a favour, because we replaced those bookings with several very lucrative (and enjoyable) private shows. Ha!
  My favourite, though, was the bar who received posters a month before to advertise our gig, but didn’t bother putting them up because he “only has to go round afterwards to take them all down.” Fine. It’s his choice. But then he had the cheek to clear off early and leave the poor bar staff to explain that he was paying us less than agreed because there weren’t many people in that night! Grrrr...
 We could go on, but, well... we have, actually, haven’t we?

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Being experienced musicians of a mature age (read "grumpy old farts",) we have played a few gigs in our time, but the one type that really makes us seethe is where the band is put right next to a telly showing (usually) football. Now, we have nothing against the sport, and have even been known to freeze our dangly bits off on the terraces now and again, but a band who is playing to a sea of backs, their songs punctuated with the roars of the clientele watching their favourite team win or lose, will NEVER give their best performance. It is rude to the artist and a waste of money for the landlord, only made worse by being told afterwards that you were great, and the crowd right at the back, round the corner (who couldn't see you and who you couldn't see) absolutely loved you.
  Most venues have more than one TV, would it be too much to ask to switch off those that are near the entertainment, allowing footie fans to gather at the back, and the music fans to come to the front to see the band? We played a couple of venues recently where exactly the above happened, not one face did we see, just a whole load of blokes with their backs to us. Dreadful gig, dreadful experience, and we won't be going back, even though the landlady really loved us. Or are we just being too picky?
  By the way, Phil asked that this rant be put on the web site, so he’s not THAT poorly, then...

  Well, many of you will know about our tough January - even a great gig at The Grand Hotel, Llandudno, for  the ‘sixties festival didn’t lift our spirits too much. The bad news we received was that Phil, drummer extraordinaire, has cancer of the oesophagus. After undergoing a load of tests, we thankfully have been told that the condition is operable, so hopefully his absence from our line-up will be temporary and short, but suffice it to say that we have been knocked for six by the news. When a band works as much as we do, and travels to and from the gigs together, you become very close, like three brothers, (or, as someone pointed out, like Foggy, Compo and Clegg in “Last of the Summer Wine!”)

   It has, of course, also left us in a bit of a quandary as to what we should do in the coming months; should we ease off on the work - we have a good stand-in lined up, who will be introduced to these hallowed pages in due course,   but he has a day job and will not want to work four nights a week - or should we forge ahead and use several drummers (shudder!) Whatever happens, it will not be the same band until Phil returns, but we have no intention of cancelling any work already in the diary. In the meantime, we are waiting to hear exactly when he will be out of action, and we will let everyone know as soon as we find out.
   Everyone who has been told of his illness at gigs have expressed their good wishes for Phil’s speedy recovery, and Kev and Pete wholeheartedly agree with those sentiments.

   We were so busy on imparting bad news to you, that we forgot to let you know the good news! Two weeks ago Phil became a Grandfather for the first time; Harry was born to Helen and Steve, and we wish them all the best. In the meantime Pete and Kev are learning the Clive Dunn song to serenade Phil with. Altogether now: “Grandad, Grandad, we love you....”

   Two weeks into his treatment, and he is still taking his rightful place in the band at gigs, poor Steve Jackson (planned stand-in drummer) hasn’t had a look-in yet. Phil is surviving, although he is, of course, very tired - at least, that’s what he says, but maybe it’s just so that the other two carry the equipment... and so he doesn’t have to drive (Kev is already suffering from Jack Daniels Cold Turkey.) Lazy git.
 In anticipation of possible hair loss, he has had the barnet shaved completely, and Pete and Kev are amusing themselves with the thought that perhaps, just like in Police Academy, it isn’t necessary - perhaps he would have kept his hair anyway. We like to think so. Soft lad.
  Anyway, shows such as 27th February at The Forum, Darlington, help to keep him - and all of us - going: great PA, great sound guy, fantastic (paying) audience... It’s nights like that that keep us hitting the road, good weather or foul. Thanks to everyone in Darlington, and Phil sends his thanks for all the love and good luck messages we’ve received since the news broke. We’ll keep you all posted...